201623

Joke of the Day

"If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don't try and out clever me with your comment. I don't come over and blow out your candles on your cake."

"I get a sense of pride and achievement when my boss catches me actually doing work."

"What's the difference between shaving a red head's pubes and diffusing a bomb? When you diffuse a bomb, you only have to cut one red wire."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger."

"What do you call having anal sex with a dick piercing? NSFW Prince Albert in a can"

"A man walks into a search bar Just kidding. No one ever does that."

"when ur watchig netflix alone in bed and the scene blacks out so u see ur own reflection r u suposed to smile at urself? help i feel awkward"

"Why are you late? Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"Why did everyone hate the window? He was a pane in the glass! Credit: 12 year old me"

"What's the worst thing a woman can hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""