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Joke of the Day
"I get a sense of pride and achievement when my boss catches me actually doing work."
Next Joke
"Where do boats go when they're sick? The Doc"
"How can you tell someone's an atheist? You can't. They'll always tell you first."
"Why did the chicken get a strike? Because it was a fowl."
"I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me when she texted me saying ""I'm out for dinner with my friend Emma"" because Emma was lying beside me in bed"
"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow? An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!"
"A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a park watching some kids play. The priest turns to the rabbi and says ""Man, I really wanna fuck these kids."" The Rabbi replies ""Outta what?"""
"Did you hear what they named the plane that carried nurse #1 to Maryland? The Ebola gay"
"There's no way Kat Von D knows when she's done showering."
"Why did the comedian without a tongue lose his job? All his jokes were a bit tasteless."