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Joke of the Day
"What is Donald Trump's favourite drink? A white Russian."
Next Joke
"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."
"Any day now Trump and Pence are going to pull off their masks and reveal that they're Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons"
"America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupee for it."
"[at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. ""Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine"" Strong smokey undertone"
"Oh Thursday, you teasy bitch you."
"What do married people do for fun? Get divorced."
"Mexican & Black jokes are all the same, once you've heard Jaun, you've heard Jamal."
"[Stock market crashes] ""Oh no, I better check on my investments!"" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]"
"Prove you're not a robot by typing two words that sounds like they were doodled on a toilet cubicle by a schizophrenic"