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Joke of the Day

"Any day now Trump and Pence are going to pull off their masks and reveal that they're Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons"

"Shredded cheese has officially been banned at grocery stores in the US. President Trump will make America grate again."

"What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one."

"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"

"Q: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face..."

"My friend asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water... I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat."

"Did you hear about the man who painted his wife with cheese? He Double Gloucester."

"Top Fears 1.Walking on manholes 2.Driving, hit a deer, windshield breaks, deer caught and frantically bucks me to death 3.Christopher Walken"

"You've cat to be kitten me right meow."

"Hillary Clinton walks into a bar. Bartender: What'll it be, Secretary Clinton? Hillary: Let me see what polls best among my focus groups."