201037

Joke of the Day

"(Date) Me: Sorry I have terrible anxiety and get picnic attacks. Her: You mean panic attacks? Me: *pulling basket out* Oh god make it stop"

"What did Robin Williams suicide note say? ""Sorry guys...I gotta go see about a girl."""

"Three men walk into a bar, what's missing? The joke! Usually one would introduce this one with: ""I'm gonna tell you a joke"" - but since we are in /r/jokes here, the setup should be ok."

"I stayed up all night to find out where the sun went... Then, it dawned on me."

"Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?"

"Doctors just told me I have ""stripper lung"" from inhaling too much brass polish & if I go back to ""JIGGLERS"" again I'll die."

"If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy."

"Why did the invisible man look in the mirror? To make sure he still wasn't there."

"Did you hear about the guy that invented the door knocker? He won the ""Nobell"" prize."

"A man goes to the doctor... The doctor says ""I've got good news and bad news. The good news is you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I should have told you yesterday..."""