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Joke of the Day

"I tried suing Amtrak for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."

"Adam Sandler walks into a shoe shop ""I'll take the sandals please"""

"How can I give myself a 12 inch penis? Fold it in half. ( ) "

"I get it grandma. I'm not sure what to do on Facebook either."

"Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, or two? One .... or two?"

"So Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and phosphorus walk into a bar. The bartender says ""OH SNAP"""

"What is the difference between a horror fiction writer and a disabled physicist? Haw"

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"Siri: Retweet me."