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Joke of the Day

"I tried suing Amtrak for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."

"How do Muslims laugh? Muahahahamed Note: I don't have any prejudices against Islamic people."

"The best part of the birthday notifier on Facebook is, I meet people that I didn't even know were on my friends list."

"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM costume party Oops wrong sub"

"If a cop beats a pregnant woman till the fetus dies, is it a miscarriage of justice?"

"I hit a can of bug spray with a hammer and my dad walked in the room. He caught me beating Off"

"I don't care if you don't like space puns. I like space puns. Comet me bro."

"What is better then roses on a piano? Tulips on your organ."

"What do you call a bunch of Lesbians in a closet? A liquor cabinet."

"I only have eyes for you. We sold out of skin swaths & teeth a couple hours ago. Last few eyes are in that bucket. (50% off bruised ones.)"