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Joke of the Day
"I used to be a necrophiliac... until a rotten cunt split on me."
Next Joke
"When I tell my wife I'm gonna have to work late she knows it's code for I was playing with super glue and I'm stuck to my desk again."
"You hear about the kids book that explains the Big Bang and Big Crunch to children? ""One Shift, Two Shift, Red Shift, Blue Shift."" By Doppler Seuss."
"The father of Mike Davidson, what's his full name? David Mikesdaad"
"settle down twitter crush. i didn't ask your last name to google you. i wanted to see how it sounded with the names i've picked for our kids"
"What do you call a dog that can't hear? Doesn't matter much, does it?"
"Vacuum the cat, its easier than vacuuming his hair from the whole house"
"My 9 year old daughter just beat me at Wii baseball... I'll bet she's on the juice."
"Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend? When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job."
"In MILF porn... There's always one motherfucker"