200715

Joke of the Day

"What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U"

"Why do Italians wear gold chains? So they know where to stop shaving."

"[NBA Postgame] *LeBron wearing his fake glasses* ""Questions? Yes, Lois Lane from Daily Planet"" ""Yeah hi. I'll wait til LeBron comes out"""

"Prostitutes are like the Elves from Lord of the Rings When you know them well enough they tell you their true name"

"If Jehovah's witnesses brought pizza and beer with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion."

"I do feel bad for some of you who complain about all the unwanted attention you get on Twitter. Maybe you should try notepad, or word."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Anyone who's ever stood in a busy McDonald's line at 10:29am not knowing what to get has been closer to getting murdered than they realize."

"What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll just hang around here."

"In a Mexican restaurant, Are the restrooms called ""Juans""?"