200627

Joke of the Day

"Husband: Why are there broken condoms on the couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their names!?"

"During a zombie apocalypse, establish dominance by approaching the baddest zombie with the snappiest teeth and braid his hair."

"Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie? It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs. I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast."

"Gross I like my pussy like I like my steak... Pink and bloody. I'm so sorry. My friends are twisted."

"A day after the Blagojevich verdict and a radical stylist announces plans to build a hair salon two blocks from the courthouse. Disgraceful."

"Oral Misgivings Q: How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex? A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn."

"When I tickle my imaginary friend, people think Im casting spells"

"I've been married to my wife for 27 years but it feels like 27 minutes. ...under water"

"How many dragon ball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1, but it takes 6 episodes."

"What did they serve for lunch at Jurassic Park? Chilean Sea Bass. Spared no expense. Didn't you watch the movie?"