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Joke of the Day

"Oral Misgivings Q: How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex? A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn."

"Got into a car accident with a mobile library before. I'm perfectly fine, but the police really threw the book at me."

"What is a tampon's favorite food? Scrambled egg"

"Well. Now I'm beginning to think Toyota is doing this on purpose. Like they're getting back at people for making jokes about Asian drivers."

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic? Going in and asking for a coat hanger."

"How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post? They like it!"

"My kid wants pizza without the crust AND a side of breadsticks. It appears I've given birth to everything that's wrong with America."

"GF texted me that her ex wants to get her back. So I texted, ""I care for you. Don't do this"". I'm still working on what to reply to my GF."

"Once you go black... You're a single mother."

"Mother Paper Bag: We need to talk. Teen Bag: *removes earbud* What? M: Your father was plastic. T: But - M: It's true. You're a mixed bag."