200570

Joke of the Day

"Hey John, we expend every night together watching the moon and the stars. What we are? We are security guards Peter!"

"What do Australians call the state in which Sydney is located? (nsfw) New South Fucking Wales"

"Whats your name? Whats the color of the sky?... Me: whats your name? You:(insert name) Me:whats the color of the sky? You:blue Me:whats my name? Now put it all together."

"One of the toughest parts of adulthood is figuring out how to stay friends with people who post too many selfies"

"The French government has issued a statement regarding the recent string of terrorist attacks. Oui surrender"

"What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey? Darth Mule! A joke, from third grade me... Happy Star Wars day!"

"Who's your dad's cousin's cousin's daughter to you? A potential Tinder date."

"HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR LIFE: Whisper ""You should have killed me when you had the chance"" to the person in the bathroom stall next to you."

"My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don't know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it's not."

"""What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?"" They're hiring."