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Joke of the Day

"The French government has issued a statement regarding the recent string of terrorist attacks. Oui surrender"

"Q: What goes: click click click ""Now? FUCK!"" click click click ""Now? FUCK!"" etc... A: A blind guy working a Rubix cube."

"You can always tell a guy masturbates a lot, by his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring."

"How do you sell a deaf guy a frog? DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip."

"Just purchased one of those wigs that lawyers in England wear to put on when I have an argument with my wife."

"How do you find King Arthur in the dark? With a knight light...."

"How do you advertise a French rifle? Never fired, dropped once."

"I sexually identify as a table. That is all."

"If you ever see a tweet that says ""www@google.com"", that's my grandma trying to use the internet. Leave her alone."

"[tv commercial] me: ""know what i'd love for breakfast?"" mum: ""what's that son?"" me: ""if someone pre-chewed my food"" narrator: ""porridge"""