200501

Joke of the Day

"I've just text my new girlfriend that I'm into all sorts of douchebaggery. Autocorrect clearly has a different idea on what debauchery is."

"How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar? Total internal reflection."

"A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort,, it is equal to one night.. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers."

"I've been getting a lot more use out of my treadmill since I put a blanket and pillow on it."

"Why don't old people like tennis? There's too much racket"

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but you need a fairly big lightbulb."

"Democrats are the sexiest party... Because no one wants some elephant"

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"Q: Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague? A: He was looking for a Czech mate."

"""This is not a drill!"" -Lying electric drill that refers to itself in the third person"