200501

Joke of the Day

"I've just text my new girlfriend that I'm into all sorts of douchebaggery. Autocorrect clearly has a different idea on what debauchery is."

"Just another Saturday night at home alternating between sweet and salty snacks until I disgust myself enough to go to bed."

"My Dad died recently, but unfortunately I slept in and missed the funeral I guess I'm not a mourning person"

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""See you in 30 days!"""

"What's the worst place to be during a tornado? Cracker Barrel."

"Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes? Because it's a FAST food!"

"*interrupts your baby's first words* ""IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."""

"Why wasn't Rome built in a day? Because it was a government job."

"My friend tells me he graduated from Europe with a Celsius in Engineering."

"How many pancakes can you fit into a dog house? None because ice cream doesn't have bones."