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Joke of the Day

"Julius Caesar goes into a bar... ... and asks for a martinus. Puzzled, the bartender asks, ""Do you mean a martini?"" ""No. Just one, please."""

"Why do Europeans hate American food? Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet."

"WHY DO WE ALLOW OTHER COUNTRIES TO TAG THEIR NAME ON TO SOMETHING AND SELL US LIES WHEN THEY DO IT WRONG? CANADIAN BACON? ENGLISH MUFFINS?"

"Marmite ... But paw may not."

"Why do women have trouble peeing in the morning? You ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you."

"What do you call the cross between an elephant and a rhino? 'Ell if I know."

"It takes a car 30 years to become vintage. It takes a phone 30 days."

"What did the princess say when she got to the ball? garglgarglgarglgarglgargl"

"The less hair I have The more head I get"