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Joke of the Day

"What did the princess say when she got to the ball? garglgarglgarglgarglgargl"

"If you stand by and watch someone wreck their life, you're part of the problem And yet we all still go to weddings for the open bar"

"Whats the difference between a lesbian and a wheat-thin? Ones a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker."

"I really need to find a boyfriend. Guy at poker table was like ""This is my girlfriend, Kayla,"" and I was like, ""This is my sandwich, Ham."""

"I will name my kid Pluto When he grow up, he will ask me, ""Dad, did you name me after a planet?"". And i will be like, ""No:("""

"They say revolution breeds revolution. Resistance is fertile."

"in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times"

"""Remember Robert from work?"" Yeah..he was a douche. ""He died."" WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor"

"Crabs are amazing collectivistic creatures; they only use pubic transportation."