200421

Joke of the Day

"Horton hears a who Horton hears a what Horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady Horton is listening to Eminem"

"What would you call a supervillain that could control every part of the electro-magnetic spectrum except 495-570 nm? Magento"

"What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses."

"A priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Dear Boyz II Men, please change your name to Men II Old Men."

"Two old ladies sitting in a doctor's office in Florida... The one says to the other, ""I can't see, I can't hear anything and I can barely walk. Thank God I can still drive."""

"There are only two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"The asshole in front of me is texting and driving right as I'm tweeting this."

"A masochist and a sadist are having an argument. The masochist says, ""Whip me! Whip me! Beat me! Beat me!"" The sadist says, ""No."""

"I'm tired.... I hear there is a nap for that."