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Joke of the Day

"I feel like something is missing from my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito."

"If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let me call people."

"Why did the molecular biologist want to make a porno film of gametes? Because sex cells."

"U2's Ireland shows have sold out. Expect a ticket through your letterbox any day now courtesy of Bono."

"Steven hawking is setting a bad example for kids these days... Being on his computer all day"

"I hate it when people call me contrary. I am *not* contrary!"

"A man drops a nail, which rolls under his bed, so he goes down under. This begs the question of why he decided to go to Australia to get a new nail instead of searching under his bed."

"What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."

"Do you know what moth balls smell like? How did you get their tiny legs apart?"

"What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way ? She was tickled to death !"