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Joke of the Day
"I think the most ironic thing about irony is that it's not made of metal at all."
Next Joke
"I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them."
"What do Michelle Obama and the lead singer of The Police have in common? They're both similar to insects! (FLOTUS like a butterfly, Sting like a bee)"
"*buys almond milk* ""I'm gonna get healthy!"" *drinks almond milk* ""This is gross."" *pours Hershey's chocolate syrup in milk* ""Perfect."""
"I wonder if anyone in a full burqa ever thinks, ""Wow, that's a great picture of me."""
"If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane."
"Bought a new boomerang today Having trouble throwing my old one away"
"The leading cause of depression is reality."
"What is the difference between a hooker and an onion? I don't cry when I chop the hooker up."
"Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary."