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Joke of the Day

"Bought a new boomerang today Having trouble throwing my old one away"

"What's the worst part about being a railroad conductor? The training."

"My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper."

"After an argument with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I don't like to be spoken to in that tone of voice."

"If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I'd compete in it later."

"Did you hear about that promising new male porn star? His studio described him as ""up and cumming""."

"Where did Zooey Deschanel grow up? In Albu-quirky."

"The music of life needs more cowbell."

"Hey, are you -273.15C? Yeah, I'm 0K thanks."

"[NSFW] What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America."