200298
Joke of the Day
"Have you ever noticed.... Political promises are usually in one year and out the other?"
Next Joke
"My boss fired me. ""Why?"" I protested. ""I haven't done anything!"" Turns out that was his reason."
"My therapist told me to I need to learn to love myself... That would be settling, though- I can do better than that piece of crap!"
"Wife: I'm hungry! Me: I'll order pizza Wife: YOU THINK I'M FAT! Me: *whispering* Has it been 28 days already? Wife: WHAT?! Me: what what??"
"*holds up 2 ties* which one, I have a big meeting today ""both are nice"" [wife calls later] ""how'd it go"" well, wearing 2 ties was a disaster"
"Why did Hitler lose the war? Because his tanks wouldn't stop Stallin'."
"What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia"
"I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy."
"Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2!"
"You know how rich people prefer Bose, Bang & Olufsen and Marantz? That's just a stereotype."