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Joke of the Day

"If I were Jesus I would be seriously spooked by all the buildings with giant crosses."

"WHAT'S a pirate's fav'rite Letter? Aye, ye think it be RRRRR, but it's the C."

"Are there any other animals besides humans who communicate unnecessarily?"

"I'll see your 7 year old joke and I'll raise you my own. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam."

"Crazy sister put: ""I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly"" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too."

"Worrying does you no good. Or does it? What if it does? Can anyone confirm this? Maybe email me in case I have bad reception?!"

"Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings? He wanted to mount an exhibit!"

"Females on Facebook suffer in silence louder than anyone I've ever met in my life."

"A subscription to *Time* is not the most difficult concept to get your head around. I've told you: *Time* and *Time* again."

"What's the best part about bangin' twenty six year olds? You get to meet Jared Fogel."