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Joke of the Day
"Inspecting mirrors is a job I could totally see myself doing."
Next Joke
"Whats big and white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A fridge."
"Inspiring to see someone lift himself up by his own bootstraps. But soon you'll wonder what you're doing at a fucking magic show."
"I feel like Trump and Hillary are two divorced parents fighting over custody of us but we kinda just wanna go live with grandma."
"What do you call someone infected with herpes... Who refuses to date someone else infected with herpes... A Herpocrit! A very awesome friend said he came up with this just randomly, do I believe him?"
"What do we want? Racing car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeeeooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"
"[being strapped to a medieval torture table] ""tbh not what I thought you meant when you said you were going to show me a nice rack"""
"Accidents happen everyday... You were one of them."
"Why did the scarecrow get the job? Because he was out standing in his field."
"Knifes Last night someone cut my power so I took out my knife and badly injured them. I guess you could say I was taking a stab in the dark. I'll be here all night"