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Joke of the Day

"[being strapped to a medieval torture table] ""tbh not what I thought you meant when you said you were going to show me a nice rack"""

"Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup? Waiter: Probably learning to read."

"What vegetable is a bug most afraid of? Stephen Hawking"

"What do feminists and Redditors have in common? They both have multiple triggers that will cause them to down vote those who don't think the exact same way as them."

"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"

"I killed a duck that had been bothering me recently. The judge charged me with murder most fowl."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur ? Mega-saur-ass"

"What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"Mama said there'd be days like this, and also ""knock you out"" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk."

"I just mixed peanut butter and Nutella together in case anyone's curious why I've suddenly started attending church."