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Joke of the Day

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

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"A great way to relive your childhood is to outgrow your clothes every few months."
"The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called ""The Fission Chips."""
"If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back."
"Before we begin, does everyone know how to leave the cursor in the middle of every video? Good. - 1st day of teaching school"
"How does a penguin build its house ? Igloos it together"
"What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years? Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016"
"3 men go to a strawberry stand... they buy some strawberries. They get stomach aches from eating the strawberries. They put on their hats and go off to work with stomach aches"
"When your baby cries, don't feed it. That's just what it expects you to do. You have to outsmart it."
"What does my finger and lemon pie have in common? They both have my rang on them."