200045

Joke of the Day

"My friends and I are working on this mixed drink idea It's pretty simple just 2 parts water and 1 part ketamine. We call it the Cosbypolitan."

"am i supposed to have a separate mouth with which to kiss my mother please advise"

"How does Snoop Dogg keep his canine teeth white? BLEEEEEE-YATCH!"

"Life is like a jar of jellybeans Everyone hates the black ones."

"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but they'd have to be really, *really* small."

"Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?"

"How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters? Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer."

"What did Cinderalla do when she got to the ball? She gagged."

"What kind of dog did the sad cantaloupe get? A melon collie!"

"How do you say virgin in German? Guten tight ( )"