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Joke of the Day

"I used to think revenge was a dish best served cold. Now I realize... It's getting back at someone."

"I was having sex with my sister in Alabama... She said: ""you fuck like dad does!"" I said: ""I know, mom told me so."""

"Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station on the other side! *bum bum chi*"

"What do you say when your village gets the Black Death I'm bubon-sick of this plague."

"If the person next to you on a flight wont stop talking, take out a Skymall catalog & eat the entire thing while never breaking eye contact."

"My professor's name is Andy Nusbaum. His email is anusbaum@[university].edu"

"How did you get your girlfriend to have sex with you while she was on her period? Let's just say I pulled some strings."

"It's that pottery scene from Ghost except it's me standing behind the Subway sandwich artist helping him make my sandwich."

"Poker Face. But I barely know her!"

"What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist? THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!"