230972

Joke of the Day

"Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard."

"What does a tomato and a potato have in common? Both are red,except from the potato."

"Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts."

"What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes."

"I've lost all the aces from this deck of cards. I just can't deal with this."

"Want to hear a joke? Adam Sandler's career"

"[me adjusting paintball mask] it's too bad we aren't on the same team date: yeah"

"What do you call a Mexican prostitute that doesn't charge? Frijole."

"Lisa never talks about her younger brother, Lava Lampanelli."

"[doctor gets job as 911 operator] ""What's your emergency?"" MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE ""Hmm ok let's wait a few weeks and see how it is then"""