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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't happy people hang out with crustaceans? They get crabby! Badum tsss."

"Scientists discover diarrhea can be hereditary It runs in your jeans"

"I'm friends with a statue. He's really a gneiss guy."

"What's blue and tacky? Smurf shit"

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster Now it doesn't work. Edit: Should I have tagged this with something? New to posting here"

"[first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now."

"What's a porn star's favorite drink?"

"""Daddy what is a transvestite?"" ""Ask Mommy, he knows."""

"Keeping a blood capsule in my mouth for the next guy who tells me to smile."

"What kind of food do zombies hate? Fast food"