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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't happy people hang out with crustaceans? They get crabby! Badum tsss."

"Manute Bol walks into a bar And says ""The highballs are on me!"""

"I went to the psychiatrist today I told him that I have started hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist."

"My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization."

"The jerk store called. *removes hat* I'm afraid there's been an accident."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly You can't jelly your cock in her ass"

"""That's not Captain Kirk."" is what I like to say just after the pilot makes his first announcement & then everyone laughs in my head."

"I hired a PR team. They said the public would like me more if I stopped executing people. I executed the PR team."

"You're born, you grow up, have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive, you die, your kids have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive......"

"They should do a scene in a comedy movie where someone rides their bike into a parked car."