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Joke of the Day

"Wife and I go to subway... She says she can't decide between a 12"" or a 6"". I told her get the 6"" sandwich and I'll give you 8 inches after supper"

"When going out invite your friends with extra chromosomes. ....theyll always be down"

"Dad is the polite way of saying Motherfucker."

"Batman: I told you, if it's mine you have to say bat before it.. Like bat-mobile, bat-arang.. Doctor: Fine, you have bat-herpes"

"Why do gay men float? Flambuoyancy"

"What do you call a seven course Irish meal? A 6-pack and a potato."

"Why the long face ? A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face ? Horse: because I'm a raging alcoholic."

"How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don't have to be very good to get people's attention."

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts to smoke? Slow the pace and apply more lube!"

"What does an academic call masturbation? His seminal work."