199730

Joke of the Day

"I was told my dad was stealing from his construction job and I didn't want to believe it But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left"

"A guy walks into a bar... Ouch."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today. She was a bitch."

"A girl goes to the doctor, he takes out his stethoscope and says ""okay, big breaths."" To which the girl says ""yeah, and I'm only thixteen."""

"Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it is two-tired (too tired)."

"When going through TSA inspection at the airport, there's no telling how long it will take... ... All belts are off ."

"In movies when people go underwater, I like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo."

"And in conclusion, may I say that black robe is very slimming on you, Your Honor. And I've never seen a bigger gavel."

"If Lance Armstrong and Oscar Pistorius have taught us anything, it's don't trust athletes with missing body parts"