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Joke of the Day

"And in conclusion, may I say that black robe is very slimming on you, Your Honor. And I've never seen a bigger gavel."

"Where did Noah keep his bees? The Ark Hives"

"I have a confession to make. I've been having sex with my staff. What's worse is I'm self employed!!!! Badaboom!"

"My dog ate a bunch of tissues yesterday. Looks like his ass is going to wipe itself for awhile."

"What do you call a slutty camera? A loose Canon."

"To all the Moms: ""Happy Mothers Day""! And to all the Dads: ""Happy Sunday.. Mother FuKers""!!"

"You have so much potential But no kinetic energy, therefore you will never go anywhere in life."

"What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line."

"Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams."

"Guy on phone telling gf he's bringing her a HUGE bouquet b/c 'she deserves the best'. Hilariously, he was peeing at a urinal the whole time."