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Joke of the Day

"Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL"

"So many babies. So little ketchup."

"What's black, red, and blue all over? Rihanna."

"So my dad gathered all of us kids together and said ""Now I'm only going to say this once!"" .... then turned and walked away."

"A giraffes' tongue is 18 inches long. Good thing it's not 12 inches long. Otherwise, it would be a foot."

"TIL Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto translates you to ""Thank You Mr. Robot"" The Spanish translation is Muchos Gracias Marco Rubio"

"*throws up gang signs* ""Ew gross, I don't remember eating that."""

"The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa."

"I used to be terrible at Valentines' Day too... But then I took an arrow in the knee."

"On the topic of Transformers ""Have you guys seen the new toys? They've changed too much! They were so much better when we were little!"" ""...Transformers are supposed to change"""