199700

Joke of the Day

"""Fucking hell, I've only been in prison a short while and look how much my grass has grown. ""Stop dicking around, Oscar, put your legs back on."""

"What room does a ghost not need? A living room"

"If two impoverished African nations went into battle against each other... ... Would that be a third-world war?"

"Mike: I'm really glad I wasn't born in France. Jim: Why? Mike: I can't speak French."

"ABORTION BILL A congressional aide asks a politician, ""What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"" The politician replied, ""Shhhhh -- just pay it."""

"I thought about going into investment banking Then I lost interest."

"Nobody lives forever, but especially not that homeless person I just ran over."

"Ughh so pissed off. My mail order bride is pretending she doesn't speak english just so she doesn't have to wear the jester outfit again."

"I'm not Racist I love blacks, I think everyone should have one."

"What's the difference between a bug and an insect? Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot."