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Joke of the Day

"A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife."

"What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level? Pencil-in."

"My son asked me the definition of impending doom. I just said, 'you know when you smell dog poop in the house, but you can't see it? That.'"

"What did Noah name the carpentry supply store he set up in Little Rock? Ark-n-Saw."

"When man made the first stone tool 2.6 million years ago, I don't think they could have ever imagined a tool as great as Donald Trump."

"I'd tell you the joke about the pirate But I don't think its arrrrrrpropriate."

"You know when you lie, things can get out of hand very quickly....... For example I heard about a girl who lied to her husband about how she got pregnant and now there is an entire religion."

"What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette."

"There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science 0: Naming things 1: Cache invalidation 2: Off by one errors"

"I'm not racist, my shadow is black. "