199535

Joke of the Day

"I asked my friend what he does for a living. He said, ""I cut the arse off a cow and cook it."" At least he's making ends meet."

"What did Alan Rickman say as he stood over David Bowie's grave? Mind if I Slytherin?"

"The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar. ...it was tense."

"What do you call a whistleblower stuck in a blizzard? Snowd-en"

"Punchline Challenge: ""And by the way, you've got a lovely home!"" What's the setup ?"

"What could you create with Starbucks caramel mocha chip frappuccino? The Audi logo and The Olympics logo."

"I was highly offended until I realised HR were calling me incompetent and not incontinent."

"*sees window washer in a harness outside office high rise* *holds up sign from desk* YOU'RE NOT EVEN FLYING EVERYONE CAN SEE THE STRINGS"

"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"Unshakable Fact # 3 Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - Fucking PRICELESS."