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Joke of the Day
"What does Donald Trump say after sex? I never saw that woman in my life."
Next Joke
"Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage."
"I like my jokes like I like my coffee. The same stuff seven times a day."
"Carbs are my starch enemy."
"What happened in China on Christmas? The Rice-child was born."
"When the Baltimore rioters looted the CVS, they stole everything except for the Father's Day cards."
"My girlfriend told me she wanted a ring. So I said ""Bitch, take your phone off silent!"""
"If your phone fell in a toilet, you would... 1995: ...leave it, toilets are gross Today: [wrist-deep in urine] BRING ME A BOWL OF RICE NOW"
"Hey Sherlock, what type of stone is this? Sedimentary, my dear Watson"
"whats the worst part about cooking vegetables? putting the wheelchair into the oven."