199437

Joke of the Day

"My grandfather's favorite joke Q: How do you make a Peking Duck? A: Throw a brick at him. As my grandfather would say, ""That's as funny as a crutch."""

"What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a? Pi * z * z * a"

"That's the last time Shang Tsung accompanies my family to the fish restaurant.... He spent all night trying to steal my brother's sole!"

"I wonder what chairs think about all day ""Oh, here comes another asshole"""

"How many 'Suh Dudes' does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Its already lit, fam."

"Today I won the National Laziness Championship! What did you win? Atrophy"

"The Force Awakens could have been much shorter. All the First Order had to do to get rid of the Resistance was to use a superconductor."

"I would talk about computer science... But it makes my mother board"

"What's a stoners favorite word? Here! (Must be said like you are holding a hit in)"

"""As the crow flies"" means something entirely different when it's ""in your living room"" and you are ""hiding in the closet with your cat."""