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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross Paris Hilton with Iggy Azalea? A horribly depraved piece of human garbage."

"What is the president's favorite vegetable? BARACK-oli. Courtesy of my friend Abraham."

"A standard elevator can hold 1700 lbs or 5 Tinder matches..."

"So this dyslexic guy walks into a bra ..."

"I tried to catch fog yesterday... Mist."

"In the middle of a really messy divorce, I decided suicide was the only option. I just need to talk her into it now."

"Why was Jimmy so excited to go to Clown College? He got a fool scholarship."

"What does Monica Lewinsky say to call her dog over? ""Come, spot!"""

"Why did the hipster wear a sweatshirt on the sweltering summer day? She wears sweatshirts before it is cool! (Cue rim shot)"

"And then Satan whispered, hey let's put the alphabet in math"