199216

Joke of the Day

"Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad? A. All the house plants are dead but there's something growing in the refrigerator."

"people said my days of misquoting famous idioms were over but I'm like a phoenix rising from molasses"

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None... They just sit in the dark and bitch about it."

"*shows up to salsa lessons with tostitos* haha what the heck are you idiots doing"

"*I look into abyss* *Abyss looks at me* *Abyss blinking message in Morse code* *I go off to learn Morse* *I return* ""Why do we park in a dri"

"Why did the leper chase the leopard? Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)"

"What do you get in the Netherlands, when you fail your driving test three times? A yellow license plate."

"DRUG DEALER: what'll it be man ME: *wearing a wire* some drugs please [at the surveillance van] DEA AGENT: did he just say some drugs"

"This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies? Corpses are still underground."

"What did one leper say to another? Got yer nose!"