199039

Joke of the Day

"My best friend got cheated on by his deaf girlfriend... His girlfriend cheated on him with a deaf guy... To be fair, he should've seen the signs."

"[date] HER: So do you like Star Wars? ME: Oh yeah HER: Who's your favorite character? ME: *nervously looking at smudged notes* Yoga"

"There are three kinds of people in this world Those that can count and those that cannot"

"Why did sodium stay home all day? Because when helium invited sodium and potassium to the mall, potassium said *K* but all sodium could say was *Na*."

"Me: can I have a few extra days off over Christmas Boss: it's May Me: sorry, may I have a few extra days off over Christmas"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef."

"Watching Home Alone. Did the family not have ANY friends they could call? ""Yo we left our 8-year-old alone, can you get him & not call CPS?"""

"What is long and yellow and always points north? A magnetic banana."

"What does a Hot Pepper and a Prostitute have in common? Your dick burns like hell after you stick it in. Side Note: I just realized how much I love prostitute jokes."

"What's the difference between training wheels and training bras? I need two hands to remove training wheels."