199021
Joke of the Day
"What's white and flies through the air? The second cumming."
Next Joke
"I made a commitment not to masturbate for the past four weeks... I didn't pull it off"
"I taught my son how to spell beer so he'd stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge."
"Colleague: want some popcorn? Keeps you young and beautiful like me Me: Really? Looks to me you should've been eating a hell of a lot more"
"""Instead of a 58 year old woman, I wanna look like a 28 year old shiny iguana"" - Plastic Surgery"
"Why would I donate 2 to save a kid's life? I'd rather spend that 2 on a condom to prevent a kid's life."
"A bear walked in the forest Suddenly he saw a burning car. The bear sat in the car. And burned."
"News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*"
"I had a fight with my imaginary girlfriend She was never there"
"If I applied for a job at the Vatican & they asked for my references I'd say, ""Contact Him"" while pointing up. HOW COULD I NOT GET THE JOB."