198942

Joke of the Day

"Awww. It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch.."

"Let's make a deal. I'll get in touch with my feminine side if you get in touch with my balls."

"Did you know that 2 x 10 is the same 2 x 11 One is twenty and the other is twenty two."

"Guys at work are always like ""why are your shorts so short?"" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know"

"The three reasons for liking a status: 1) I agree with you. 2) I realize this is about me, of course I'm gonna like it. 3) I like you."

"The little old woman who lived in a shoe... ...wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached."

"You need some David in your life... Because Jesus clearly isn't helping you."

"Anyone know the lyrics to ""Around the world"" by daft punk? I always forget.."

"My girlfriend hates it when I surprise her when shes sleeping... OK, so she's not my girlfriend yet..."

"Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation."