198923

Joke of the Day

"Batman: Nobody will ever know the location of the bat cave! Iron Man: Here's my home address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I'll keep the door unlocked"

"I told her she has the most beautiful eyes and she started screaming... Apparently she doesn't like to be woken up by total strangers."

"Batman: ""I am...**BATMAN!**"" ""Hi, Batman, I'm not Dad because yours already died when you were a kid."""

"*kneels to pray* ""Hello, God?"" ""YOU'VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT."" ""Who is this?"" ""MY NAME IS BRAD."" ""Are you in Heaven, Brad?"" ""NO, INDIA."""

"As a broke college student, do you know what the best vehicle to have is? A scholarSHIP. I'm sorry."

"There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself "" thank god the cops are here"""

"My dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records... But then the librarian told me to take it out."

"What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch? It may contain viruses."

"Thank you for explaining that Geico ad to me It means a great deal"

"Why was the UKIP voter angry? Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)"