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Joke of the Day

"My dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records... But then the librarian told me to take it out."

"Yo mamma conforms to Planck's law - the greater the frequency with which she screws, the more energetic she gets."

"if you ask a veteran if they've killed anyone and they say they don't like to talk about it, that means no"

"Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible."

"A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"Why did the cat befriend the dog? Because the dog let the cat out of the bag! Haha!"

"Damn girl , are you a TV ?? Because you got all eyes on you !"

"My ex bf called me today. I answered by screaming ""HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!"" and hung up. Should make him wonder a lil bit."

"My sister didn't believe me when I said I could build a car out of spaghetti....... ... you should have seen her face when i drove pasta"

"What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm"