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Joke of the Day

"I told her she has the most beautiful eyes and she started screaming... Apparently she doesn't like to be woken up by total strangers."

"There was a praying mantis in my room so I stealthily grabbed a shoe and smashed my 2nd-story window and jumped out."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream."

"[Having a problem with my iPhone] Me: *texting myself* Test Me: *replies* I have a girlfriend"

"Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons? They're short of breath!"

"1am: Huh, I'm not tired... 2am: I feel great! Maybe I don't need sleep? 3am: LET'S EXECUTE EVERY IDEA I'VE EVER HAD. 3:04am: Euthanise me."

"If you notice This notice, then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing."

"Last week i just robbed my first bank in my new Frog outfit. I Kermited a major offense"

"What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement? ""Firetruck"""

"A magician walks down the street... and turns into a pub"