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Joke of the Day

"Gentleman My penis is so polite, it stands up so girls have a place to sit down."

"Just to confuse the cops, let's steal the sign pole and leave the street sign."

"What do you call a happy ending at a Jewish massage parlor? Free."

"Why are there so many Chinese people? Because as soon as you fuck a Chinese girl, you're horny again half an hour later."

"-gestures to everything in the Garage- Me- THESE ARE MY TOOLS AND I AM THEIR KING!!! Wife- YOU'RE a tool Me- DAMN RIGHT I AM Wait..what?"

"[Different] Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart? Because he can Nazi the road."

"My wife has disappeared... She's been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So I went down to Goodwill and got all her clothes back."

"Who was the blind horse jealous of? The seahorse."

"What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common? They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them the most."

"What goes dot-dot-croak dot-dash-croak ? Morse toad !"