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Joke of the Day

"The substance was mildly acidic on the pH scale It was a solid 5/7"

"Had a date with a lady I met on Christian Mingle. It was going fine until I told her I was Jewish & her half of the bill was $40 dollars."

"Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake? He had a reptile dysfunction"

"Pssst, what's the answer to question number 5? umm, dude this is a voting booth."

"Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?"

"What does a ""yes man"" say? I don't no"

"How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ? Chick to chick !"

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because its two tired."

"Hmmm, why don't we try reincarnation. Here, take this razor blade and I'll leave you alone for a few moments... -me as a therapist"

"mom: why is there a Hispanic man climbing our balcony me: he is my romeo & I am his Juliet mom: (._. ) me: I'm just kidding call the cops"