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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and my motorcycle have something in common. The faster I accelerate the ride, the more likely I am to break my crotch."

"What kind of television do horses like? Saddle-lite TV"

"Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic"

"Everything happens for a reason; unfortunately, sometimes the reason is you."

"If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant? Mariska Hargitay"

"What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public? Get a broom."

"Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax? Because he makes so many brilliant deductions."

"Umm Adele, have you tried texting?"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I was just laid by this chick."

"So a cannibal was eating his sister- No, wait. It was a hillbilly..."