19851

Joke of the Day

"Me: ""OMG, my abs are so sore!"" 12: (sarcastically) ""What abs?"" Me: ""The abs hiding under this protective layer of you're grounded."""

"At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?'"

"[doing a sexy skype chat] GF: show me urs & I'll show u mine ME: mmm baby I can't wait *we both lower our cams to show each other our dogs*"

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it. (credit to Tasteless)"

"Reddit is like a fridge... You know there's nothing new inside, but you check it out every ten minutes."

"*puts seashell up to ear* Me: I think I can hear the ocea- Seashell: Seven days. You will die in seven days. Me: (to friend) It's for you."

"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight."

"A Brief History of Our Times: As televisions became flatter, people became rounder."

"I've always wanted to be a plumber But it's probably just a pipe dream."

"Why are vaginas called beavers? because beavers eat wood"