198475

Joke of the Day

"You guys hear about the new Lebron James phone? It only vibrates, it doesn't have a ring."

"How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowplow? Give her a shovel"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today..."

"A joke I thought of: I don't know if fo' sho' means ""for short"" or ""for shore"", but I like to think that people are being overly nautical."

"(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago! Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong."

"I'd rather be chased by a pack of cannibal Oompa Loompas riding hungry velociraptors than go to your kid's Chuck E. Cheese birthday party."

"""Houston we ... are fine."" Female astronaut probably"

"pirate joke I saw a pirate walking down the street and he had a paper towel on his head so I said ""what's with the paper towel."" he said ""arrgh got a Bounty on me head."""

"Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier... if my wardrobe wasn't so fabulous!"

"*hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*"